A downloadable memoir

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RECOMMENDED EXPERIENCE: read online now at npw.marinakittaka.com

New Private Window is a memoir in the form of a website. It follows Marina Kittaka (developer of Anodyne and Even the Ocean) through childhood and young adulthood, looking at the interactions between her experiences of faith, gender, and sex.

Certain links are meant to be opened in a private web browser window, as a meditative act--a reflection on shame, exploration, and intimacy.

The recommended experience is viewing online at npw.marinakittaka.com, but you can also download the memoir here!


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Click download now to get access to the following files:

NPWdesktop_03-24-2020.zip 17 MB


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I cannot remember the last time someone's writing instantly hooked me into reading until I was done. Thank you for sharing this side of yourself and also (I assume) doing lots of rewrites and editing to make this flow so... well.

Thank you for taking the time to respond, I'm glad that you found something here of value!


this meant a lot to me and was a very emotional read. i'm a trans girl myself, except i'm still in high school and haven't come out yet. i haven't even really found myself yet, either. i'm suffering from a lot of the problems you mentioned, and actually seeing someone in a similar situation to me made me feel a bit more whole. thank you for writing this, and for letting other people like me know that we're not alone. i almost cried when i saw how pretty you were. i cried because it truly made me feel that i could some day be that beautiful. and i can't thank you enough for letting me feel like that. [p.s., i just 100%ed anodyne by way of the $5 blm bundle and loved every second of it. your art and writing is really amazing! i'm hoping to pick up anodyne 2 as soon as i can! keep up the amazing work!!! :)]


Thank you for sharing this, sending sweetness and safety to you. You deserve to feel happy and whole, and to be free to explore. Appreciate your kind words!


Thank you for publishing this :) It is beautifully written and very moving. I also found it relatable on so many levels even if our life experiences are obviously different (white queer trans man here), mostly around topics like growing up in a world where the very existence of people like you is unthinkable, love, shame, bodies and sexuality. Reading your memoir was both food for thought and balm for the heart and soul. Thank you again.

Thank you for reading and commenting! I'm so glad to know that this is continuing to be meaningful to people


Thank you for sharing! I really enjoyed this and connected on a lot of levels, including being That Person who was type-cast in all the school theatre productions... :P a lot of what you said here was very meaningful, and I loved the private window mechanics/symbolism. 💖


Thank you for writing this.